MSK Taekwondo and Modesty

By Eric Evans, 3rd dan

Modesty is the quality of living with restraint in speech, actions, dress, and daily life. Spend 5 minutes on social media and you may wonder where our modesty has gone. It seems like every act is set to impress others, show off or perform something extreme. As martial arts students, we should use modesty in our daily lives to build each other up. Our model concept teaches us that our goal is to provide opportunities and leadership for others. Practicing modesty can be a powerful tool in helping us navigate our daily lives.

As a father and instructor, avoiding hubris and keeping my expectations in check, can help build up those I hope to lead. I have personally struggled with setting proper expectations for my boys. I see tremendous potential in both of them, but I must temper my expectations so that they can build up their potential over time. Taekwondo classes teach us this temperament. We are taught that there is an expectation to perform moves correctly, show outward and self respect, but it comes with the understanding that we will make mistakes. We are taught that if we are paying attention and trying our best, mistakes are ok; they are how we learn. 

Modesty allows us to be more aware of our own limitations, which can help us to focus our energies on the tasks that are truly important. At work, a team will excel and achieve more if each individual is modest in their actions. Relying on each other makes a stronger team and in the end a better product or service. Teams that lead by arrogance often do not last, do not grow and produce a product that boasts features that can not be obtained. Modesty can also help us to be more aware of the needs of others. By avoiding arrogance, we can be more mindful of the feelings and needs of those around us. We can more easily recognize when someone needs help or support, and can more readily offer our assistance.

Modesty can also help us to better manage our expectations and to be more accepting of failure. We can use this acceptance to help us to be more resilient in the face of adversity and to be more open to learning from our mistakes. This can help us to stay motivated and to stay focused on our goals. Not getting 1st place at a Colorado Taekwondo Institute tournament event can be upsetting. Practicing modesty however can help you focus on improving your poomse, sparring or endurance. It can be the driving factor for bringing you to the next level. When we are modest, we are more likely to be humble and to recognize our own limitations. We can use this humility to help us to better understand our own capabilities and to strive to do our best. This can help us to become more successful in our endeavors and to better manage our stress.

Finally, modesty can help us to be more confident in our own decisions and to better manage our emotions. We can use this confidence to be more assertive and to be more decisive in our actions. This can help us to be more successful in our endeavors and to better navigate the complexities of life. At the same time, it will build others around us up, bringing them along for the journey, rather than tearing them down.